Everybody Gets Off

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Click to get a Shoplyfter discount for up to 68% off here. I know this deal might look like a steal, but it’s totally legit. And even if you get caught with your pants down, that’s… that’s totally normal because this is a porn deal.

Some girls can get away with just about anything. Once I dated a girl who was fucking my best friend in the living room while I was brushing my teeth. I walked in, caught them, and she just looked at me and said “Oh hi. You can finish me off if you want.” And I total did. We’re actually still together. I’m such a fucking loser. I told her she should try out for this porn site though. It’s called Shoplyfter.

Yeah, this site is all about girls who think they’re sneaky enough to shoplift and get away with it. Joke’s on them because soon they get caught and are taken to a back detention room. But soon they’re negotiating with their tits, mouth, and pussy. Spoiler Alert: Everybody gets off.